The Holiday Season Temptations

Christmas parties…New Year’s Eve parties…these are times for family and friends, for celebrating–and for recovering substance abusers, holiday temptations.

How to have fun and stay clean and sober

By the time most of us finally make it to the rooms of recovery, our idea of being social was keeping our seat warm at the bar. Perhaps standing in line at the coffee pot at our first meeting, we were greeted with a handshake or a hug, our first physical contact with another human that wasn’t violent or sexual. It’s difficult for addicts and alcoholics to get chummy, especially now without the “liquid courage” to hide our awkwardness. So, we clutch our styro cup of coffee tightly and venture to a seat in the back of the room.

After coming to the same meeting for a few weeks, the same person says, “Hi” to us again, and this time asks, “How are you? Do you have plans after the meeting?” After mumbling an incoherent response, we discover we’ve been invited to coffee after the meeting. While at coffee, we’re introduced to a few other members of the fellowship. Wait a minute, they’re telling jokes and laughing! They’re having fun! In fact, no one’s even drinking alcohol. They’re all stone-cold sober! How can this be? How can they be carrying on and having a good time without a drink or drug? Baffled, yet feeling exhilarated by the laughter, we smile.

Am I running away from, or running towards something?

Addicts and alcoholics are natural escape artists. Every drink, every hit we took, was to escape. We wanted to escape the pain, the emotions, the feelings, the husband, the wife, the kids, the job. We lived to use and use to live. Now we’re confronted with reality, what we’re left with once we come to recovery and stay clean and sober. We have to face life on life’s terms. What do we do? We can either face it head on by working the steps or turn and run. If we run, are we running away from something or towards something?

How do we know the difference?

Wherever we go, we take the disease with us. We are used to running from things like responsibility, the law, the ex, reality. We rarely run towards anything, we run from things. How do we know the difference? We have to ask ourselves some important questions:

We Only Have to Change One Thing: Everything!

“If I stop drinking and using drugs, life will be dull and boring.”

“Without drinking, I will have nothing to do at parties.”

There is no freedom greater than forgiveness. Whether you are entering rehab or living a life in recovery, forgiveness is a life-giving skill that you can develop. Forgiveness is something that you can readily give yourself at anytime. Right now, in fact. Repeat after me, “I forgive myself.” There can be no greater act of self-love than for you to gift yourself with these three simple words. Forgiveness is a large component of recovery. As you begin to live a clean and sober lifestyle, there will be issues from the past that beckon your attention. Destructive relationship patterns, missed opportunities, and family drama all require forgiveness and the acknowledgement that you cannot change the past. You have today and each day forward to put your best foot forward. Forgiving yourself for past actions, even when other people may not, is critical for you to be able to live a free and fulfilling life.

What if I can’t forgive myself?

Okay, let’s try this on for size and see what happens. Let’s say that you have a friend named Gina who recently completed a treatment program. She has had a difficult time over the past few years, but you are proud of her for persevering and choosing recovery. She was regularly attending support group meetings for a while, but lately you’ve noticed something seems amiss. Gina confides in you that she can’t forgive herself for the life she used to lead. She feels like a bad person because of all the pain she has caused herself and her loved ones. You notice Gina isn’t coming around much lately and attends support meetings every now and then. She has even started to miss work.