How to have fun and stay clean and sober

By the time most of us finally make it to the rooms of recovery, our idea of being social was keeping our seat warm at the bar. Perhaps standing in line at the coffee pot at our first meeting, we were greeted with a handshake or a hug, our first physical contact with another human that wasn’t violent or sexual. It’s difficult for addicts and alcoholics to get chummy, especially now without the “liquid courage” to hide our awkwardness. So, we clutch our styro cup of coffee tightly and venture to a seat in the back of the room.

After coming to the same meeting for a few weeks, the same person says, “Hi” to us again, and this time asks, “How are you? Do you have plans after the meeting?” After mumbling an incoherent response, we discover we’ve been invited to coffee after the meeting. While at coffee, we’re introduced to a few other members of the fellowship. Wait a minute, they’re telling jokes and laughing! They’re having fun! In fact, no one’s even drinking alcohol. They’re all stone-cold sober! How can this be? How can they be carrying on and having a good time without a drink or drug? Baffled, yet feeling exhilarated by the laughter, we smile.

This time it’s different

A few more weeks go by, and our new-found friends are going to the movies and have invited us to come along. Now, for some, parking lots in and of themselves are considered a “trigger” since that’s where we spent a lot of our time getting high or drunk before we walked into wherever it was we were going. This time it’s different. We’re in a car with clean and sober friends. We go to the movie and eat popcorn and candy and drink too much soda. After the movie, we’re actually able to recall the plot, and remember different scenes! We can even have a decent conversation because we were present in the moment. We stayed, we watched, we listened and now we can have a dialogue about what had happened during the film. What a wonderful feeling to be part of a conversation that’s not about us, or what we did wrong or who did what to whom. This time, it’s about something we experienced without the mind-numbing substances. How great is that?

We’re here to have fun, without the use of drugs and alcohol

On your next outing, it’s to a clean and sober dance. “But, wait a minute,” you protest, “I don’t know how to dance without having a few in me first.” Your friends tell you, “It’s ok. No one’s watching you, no one cares what you look like on the dance floor. We’re here to have fun, without the use of drugs and alcohol.” So, reluctantly we enter the hall. We pay the suggested donation (since we have some spending money today) and for once, don’t stagger onto the dance floor. We feel the music easing our shyness, we kinda rock back and forth a bit to get warmed up and feel the rhythm. Then an old favorite starts to play and we start moving a little more. We remember what our friends told us about no one’s watching, so we finally get into a groove and actually dance! What a remarkable feeling of freedom, to dance and move without feeling dumb (well almost) or being wasted.

We go to picnics and the beach. We stay up late playing board games and drinking cappuccinos. We do things we thought we would never imagine doing clean, like bowling… or joining a softball team. We get hobbies like playing guitar or painting. We may take up skydiving or scuba. The possibilities are limitless! There’s an entire new world open to us, as long as we stay clean and sober, today. All we have is a daily reprieve based upon our spiritual condition. What a better way to stay in the moment, than having fun in recovery?

Our disease tells us lies that we tend to believe

When we were first getting sober, it may have seemed as if life would be dull and boring. What would we do if we weren’t high or drunk at every wedding, party, barbecue or get-together? There seemed to be this belief that if we weren’t buzzed, we couldn’t have any fun. Now we know, it’s not true. Our disease tells us lies that we tend to believe. Falling down drunk wasn’t fun. Waking up on a stranger’s couch wasn’t much fun, either. We come to realize we really weren’t having any fun. Most of the time we were making fools of ourselves or were too drunk or high to even enjoy the festivities. We were an embarrassment to ourselves and those closest to us. Today we know, we CAN have fun in recovery!