One of the most difficult things to do, especially for a loved one, is to watch them battle addiction. For many of us, our first instinct when seeing someone in trouble, especially for parents, is to help. But many times this “help” is actually hurting – and you could be enabling addictive behavior.

How do you know? Like many issues dealing with drug or alcohol abuse, there are no easy answers. What’s worse, realizing that you are enabling addictive behavior is a difficult emotion to deal with – and many enablers make excuses for their own -- and their addicted loved one’s behavior.

You’ve done everything you can.  And, finally, you got the result you hoped for.  

Or so you thought.

Finally see a loved one make it to -- and through -- a rehab program can bring relief to many families.  But making it to rehab is not the end to the long road to addiction recovery.  Just the contrary, many times it is just the beginning.

Are you struggling with drug and/or alcohol addiction? Do you suspect a loved one might be? Drug and alcohol addiction is a pervasive issue in this country that affects the lives of countless millions. In fact, more than 8 percent of the U.S. population is reportedly dependent on drugs and/or alcohol, according to the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA). And sadly, more than 94 percent of these individuals claim to not need treatment.

There are many steps to addiction recovery and the first step is to admit there is a problem. Knowing the symptoms of addiction can help you or a loved one break through the denial that is common in addiction. The next step is to seek addiction treatment. It cannot be stressed enough that addiction is a complicated disease that requires professional treatment.

The loss of a loved one is never an easy topic, regardless of the contributing circumstances. If you have lost a loved one to a drug or alcohol-related overdose, we at the 12 Palms Recovery Center extend our deepest sympathies to you.

During this difficult period, please give yourself time to grieve. As you know, your life will be changed forever. Grief recovery is a process that can take a long time for you to heal emotionally. Please be patient with yourself and accept the various emotions that you will experience. You will likely experience many different emotions that will include sadness, anger and self-blame. It is important to remind yourself that the passing of a loved one due to an overdose is not your fault. You, as a loved one, can only provide support to another. You cannot control or change another.

Why do some people become addicted, while others do not? Studies of identical twins indicate that as much as half of an individual's risk of becoming addicted to alcohol, or other drugs depends on his or her genes. Pinning down the biological basis for this risk is an important avenue of research for scientists trying to solve the problem of drug abuse.

Genes – functional units that make up our DNA – provide the information that directs our bodies' basic cellular activities. Research on the human genome has shown that the DNA sequences of any two individuals are 99.9% identical. However, that 0.1% variation is profoundly important, contributing to visible differences, like height and hair color, and to invisible differences, such as increased risk for heart disease, stroke, diabetes…and addiction.

Addiction and Codependency: Breaking the Cycle of Enabling

Drug and alcohol addiction affects the addict and everyone around them. It’s this circle of influence that plays a key role in either enabling the drug or alcohol addiction, or encouraging recovery. That’s why it is crucial to understand the fine line between encouraging your loved one to get help – or becoming codependent and helping to maintain the addict’s destructive behavior.

What is Codependency?

A ‘codependent’ is someone who has developed an extreme dependency on someone else – in this instance, on the addict. They are often spouses, children or other relatives of the addict.

A rehab intervention effectively demonstrates the depth and severity of substance abuse and drug abuse to someone you love; it can help them get the help they need before it’s too late. Identifying addictive behavior and offering rehab as a solution are the goals of an rehab intervention. It is crucial that an intervention is not presented as a judgment or indictment of the person living with addiction.

It’s also important to remember that addiction is not a character flaw. It is a medical disease and as such, requires medical treatment. Although the careless behavior of those addicted to drugs and alcohol has very real and painful emotional consequences for those who love them, it is important that the rehab intervention not turn into a long blame session. Rather, the driving force of an intervention should be to say the most effective things in the most effective manner, to convince your loved one of the crucial need to enter rehab and receive medical treatment.